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9th-Sep-2013 01:12 am - Quarter life crisis
So once I got back from Dragon Con I realized how completely unhappy I am with my job. I have mentioned a lot in the past how much I love my boss and that has been true, up until recently. On the rare occasion that I need a sick day it’s not a problem- unless it is related to anything convention or costuming, then it becomes a huge issue. This time, so big of an issue, in fact, that she refuses to believe me that I could not possibly have prevented my insulin pump from breaking in GA and that I didn’t do enough to keep myself from getting sick or getting home. Um... EXCUSE ME!? She has flat out told me that she doesn’t want me going to these events anymore because I “always get sick at them”. I missed one day after Wondercon and now one day after Dragon Con and even came into work all the rest of the week with a mondo cold and the rest of the office kept telling me that I should go home.

The further implications that she made are that I care more about cons than work and that I’m not working hard because I’m just trying to go to cons. Sure… so why am I working at least 9.5 hours a day, then always checking emails and working nights and weekends and the fact that I not had a single sick or vacation day where I did not work a little bit the entirety that I’ve worked there?
All of this and more has helped me come to the realization that I do not like my job. It’s not the company, it’s not even my manager, I just do not like the work, and I do not like office work. I feel like a huge failure, and I feel like maybe I’m just not good at my job but I’m hoping it’s just because I’m not in the right career for me. This job exhausts me. No matter how much or how hard I work things don’t seem to go well for me. I make pretty good money but the saying really is true, that money can’t buy you happiness.

SO I’ve decided to really go for my dreams this time around. What I really want to do, is voice acting. Like character voices. It’s something my friends enjoy that I do and that I love mimicking. I love doing voices and characters and accents and it just makes me happy. I also love movies and cartoons and games and I think this would be something that I will really enjoy. I have reached out to a couple friends that might have some tips or contacts for me so I can get started. I’ve been pointed at a couple local places that offer classes getting started info and help with auditions and demos that I’m looking at but I’m still gathering info but I’m going to pick a direction soon.

I am aware that this could take a LONG time, if ever, to get into but I really want to go for it. In the interim I’m looking for a new day job, and I’m aware that I will probably need to take a substantial pay cut, but I am so miserable right now that I think I could be happy doing something with less onus, where one tiny toe out of place doesn’t make the world blow up.

I would like to be able to not have to work on a weekend, or my vacation, or when I take a sick day. I’d also like to be able to have a social life. Maybe I can find another work from home job and then I can visit friends and just work from their house. As long as I have health insurance and I’m happy, I don’t really care too much what it is right now. I’m just very miserable and feeling so defeated and miserable. I feel like a failure and like I’m regressing in my life, and this all sounds very melodramatic, but I’m fucking miserable :(

Fingers crossed things get better soon.
18th-May-2011 02:20 pm - Writer's Block: Collect 'em all
Court Jester
Do you collect anything? If so, what do you collect, and what made you start your collection?

I collect antique skeleton keys. My first one was given to me by my mom when I was a little girl. She put a pink ribbon around it and said that it was the key to my imagination and that I could do anything I wanted. Since then I have been obsessed.
Court Jester
If you could replace any actor/actress in a film with someone else, who would you replace, and why?

I would replace Kristen Steward and Robert Pattinson in Twilight with.. well.. anyone else basically. They are HORRIBLE actors. They both have only a couple emotions: out of breath, in pain, or flat. FAIL
10th-Aug-2010 02:30 pm - Writer's Block: Step right up!
What kind of act would you want to perform if you joined the circus?

I would love to do Tissu aka aerial silk! That's the one where the ribbons hang from the ceiling and they spin and wrap up in them.
7th-Aug-2010 11:05 pm - Cupcake FAILURE
So I found a new baking supply store, courtesy of a coworker on Friday. I was super stoked at all the food colorings and flavorings that they had that I grabbed a bunch and happily paid the exorbitant fees and pranced out the door.

Today I went and bought the rest of the supplies needed and made a test batch of cupcakes to try out the colors and flavorings ( and new adorable cup cake papers!)

What... A..... FAIL.

They are GROSS.

I made:

Pomegranate: D-
Grapefruit: F (took a bite and it went down the drain)
Raspberry: D
Almond: B- (maybe a B+ if you like almond. I think I used too much flavor. It was very strong)

Looks like I should just go back to coloring only and make more rainbow ones or something.

I need to go put 20 cupcakes down the garbage disposal now and go toss up the ones I ate.

Pics of the failuresCollapse )
Court Jester
Poll #1602609 Best flavor to make white cake cupcakes?

I bought these flavorings.. which would be best in cupcakes?

Other (please comment)
31st-Jul-2010 10:59 pm - OMG DOUBLE RAINBOW!
So today I made my first epic cupcake. I made a rainbow cupcake!! Augh I can't believe it worked!!

SO SIMPLE. I basically made a white cake (follow recipe from box) Then I separated the batter into 5 parts and colored each individually. (R,O,Y,G,B) and then put the batter in one at a time to layer them. The recipe should make 24 cupcakes but I opted for ginormous cupcakes and made 12. YUM! Though they were plain. White cake with vanilla frosting. Maybe add some extract to flavor them if you want.

I used the Betty Crocker mix btw, and for each part, I used about 12 drops of color for solid colors. Orange is yellow 3:1 red.

I'm so stoked that they turned out on my first try!!


Photos below ze cutCollapse )
29th-Jul-2010 01:56 am - Cuppycakes
Came across this blog: http://www.squidoo.com/cocktail-cupcake-recipes and ZOMFGZ I want to try some of those recipes!!!

Pina Colada Cupcake
Lemon Drop Cupcake
Margarita Cupcake
White Russian Cupcake
Strawberry Daiquiri Cupcake
Mint Mojito Cupcake
Shirley Temple Cupcakes

And this site: http://thatsonetoughcookie.com/category/cocktail-themed-cupcakes/

White Chocolate Champagne Cupcakes
Chocolate Merlot Cupcakes

Chocolate Stout Cupcakes aka the Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes I failed on so hard when I tried to make them 3 times:(

Others I found on ze interwebs:
Cosmipolitan Cupcakes http://forum.intotheoven.com/fun-cupcakes/1508-cosmopolitan-cupcakes-lime-cointreau-buttercream-frosting.html
Tequila Sunrise Cupcakes http://www.loveandoliveoil.com/2009/02/tequila-sunrise-cupcakes.html
Peach and Bourbon Cupcakes http://www.loveandoliveoil.com/2010/07/peach-bourbon-cupcakes.html

Now I just need a bunch of girlfriends who also like cocktails so I can have baking party or something and try them out and have girls' night. Or a place to make them for where people will appreciate and enjoy them. And my own place... I hate living with my grandma.

I think those would be so fun to try out.

Now I feel like an alcoholic. gurgle...

19th-Jul-2010 05:09 pm - new shit
Court Jester
So I just signed up on this website called Girlfriend Circles http://girlfriendcircles.com/home.aspx. Basically it is similar to a dating site but for finding friends. Kind of cool. I only have 2 gal pals up here, and one is moving away. Working full time it is as impossible to find friends as it is to meet men. (B/c that clearly has gone So well for me in the past.)

So we'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll make some good friends. That would be awesome. I signed up so far for two "meeting circles" where you can either be assigned to one that you can accept/decline for girls in your age range and location, or you can pick one off the calendar. I declined the one they assigned me to b/c ALL the other girls attending it were either married or in a committed relationship. Sorry, but I just do NOT want to have a bunch of girlfriends married. That would pretty much make me feel like dragging a rusty razor across my wrists. So I picked these 2two b/c they were for girls in my age range and I looked at the other girls who were going (up to 6 can go to a meeting at a time) and most of them were single or dating. Plus I'd have little in common with married women. I'd basically get jealous and or depressed of their loving husbands./wrists

On a separate note I am going to San Diego on 8/13 to go visit my friends Kelly and Aaron. I'm stoked; I don't think I've seen them since their wedding which was almost a year ago. Wow.. seems like I always see Kelley after having my heartbroken. 

Fun times.

I am looking forward to getting out of here and taking a mini vacation though. Kelly and Aaron are a wonderful couple.

Well... that's about it for now. Ruben was supposed to have a job interview today if I remember correctly. I hope that went well for him. I haven't talked to him since he broke up with me via AIM last Thursday.

I feel awesome, yes I do. I feel awesome how about you?

And yes... that was sarcasm. \

Also- I need new LJ icons.. .mine are all depressing. Send me some!
15th-Jul-2010 01:08 pm - FUCK
Court Jester
So Ruben just broke up with me for the second time. I thought we were back together but apparently he wasn't. He is sticking to his guns of "I don't love you and I don't think I ever will but I do like you." So apparently the past month or so when I thought we were back together he was just hanging out and having sex. He knows that this relationship will go nowhere. So I am heartbroken AGAIN. I have to go through losing him again now. OW. I'm pissed and hurt and sad. I don't know what to do. I love him so much but he clearly doesn't love me. He shouldn't have started things up with me again. I thought he was having seconds thoughts and wanted to be together but apparently not.


1 of my friends is moving away and is heartbroken herself so she is pretty much out of the picture for now, not sure when I'll get to see her again.

My other friend is mysteriously mad at me and I have NO idea why.

So everyone is leaving me. I am all alone. I am friendless and heartbroken.

Having fun getting broken up with in IMs, sitting here at my desk bawling my eyes out.

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